Sometimes it was easy to forget ERA was an academy for all intents and purposes, with different classes to attend to and tests to be stressed about. It was even easier to forget that with the fate of said academy in your claws, which were tapping away at a poor desk for the duration of the day. Anxiously watching the hands of the clock eat away the time you didn’t have much of to begin with.
Skyber walked out of the classroom. The last lecture of today passed painfully slowly, considering her priorities lay elsewhere and not in chemistry. She had to drop the Splats disguise as soon as she remembered she was a student, and waited even more impatiently outside the building for Nova to drop into view. Literally.
“I got your text, Skybie!” Nova said, folding in their wings as they touched down. “What happened?”
“Nothing. That’s the problem. Six hours of nothing,” the dragoness huffed and began walking towards the woods. “I couldn’t bother my only lead while he’s still in his own classes, that would only make him more suspicious of me. Even in my disguise. A little help, by the way.”
“Of course!” Nova said, walking by her side and waiting for the greenery to envelop the two of them. Nova’s form consumed the dragon, and in a flash of violet fire Skyber was no more, and Splats stood in her place.
“Alrighty! Looking green as a gremlin, Splatty!” The girl in question elicited a groan, and pushed by the ball of fluff.
“Go find her and make sure we don’t run into each other. We lost too much time as is.”
“Don’t worry, she’s waiting for me at the shopping district. I told her I needed to show you how to work a remote control.”
“I’m not that daft! Ugh, just get out of here.”
Nova nodded, sticking their tongue at her and fell back on their tail, which coiled like spring and launched them into the air, now taking the form of a pig with wings.
Skyber watched Nova fly for a few moments and then got out of the woods, walking to the opposite direction of the shopping district.
She finally spotted her lead in the dorm building, surrounded by a plethora of boxes, after wasting another crucial half hour, standing with his arms crossed next to an odd figure with large glowing red goggles-
Fuck me.
It had to be Ernst. Out of anything that could have gone wrong, she found Xander following the good doctor around, most likely employed for whatever reason and more importantly, busy.
She must have not realized she was staring at the two until Enrst looked at her with disdain, shown even through the enormous goggles.
“AGH, SPLATS! Vhat are you doing here?! I don’t have time for your games, I am having mister Xander here manhandling—” (Xander and Splats exchanged a very uncomfortable look) “—very important components for my latest and greatest creation!”
Skyber mustered every fiber in her being to not say something snarky about what manhandling meant. Instead she chose to snarkily tease Xander about what manhandling meant. Something Splats would do.
“I bet he likes that sort of thing, don’t you, Xander?” Skyber managed the most smug smile she could perform.
“Piss off, ginger,” Xander scowled, rewarding her efforts. “I’m the one getting paid for it. Now go tag another building or something.”
Skyber had yet to figure out how to piss people off and still get what you wanted out of them. Being Splats was a lot more sophisticated than she anticipated.
“Been there, done that. Actually, I needed to ask you something important but it looks like you’re kinda busy here.” She hinted in her voice.
Xander’s scowl worsened. He looked at Ernst and then back to her. “Tough shit, you’re gonna have to wait until I get my money. Unless you know how to lift.”
Skyber looked at the boxes surrounding the pair, nothing she couldn’t handle of course. But could Splats?
“Uh.. pfft, sure I can lift, I just don’t show off to guys all the time like you do!” She walked up to one of the boxes and stared at it intently. Here goes nothing. She squatted down and grabbed both sides of the box. Just lifting it for a moment was nothing for her, but judging from the contents of the box it shouldn’t be easy.
“Hnng—!” Pretending that something is heavy is much harder than actually lifting something heavy, like faking laughter without actually finding something funny. She slowly brought the box up to her chest and stood straight with wobbly knees. Thankfully the pair seemed too amused of the predicament to catch onto any shuddy acting.
“U-Up yours, Sonic looking ass!” Skyber thanked Pearl for her insistence to shove modern media in her face.
Xander whistled, pretending to be impressed. “Guess I was wrong, then. Just take it to the mummy’s lab—”
“HEY! I’ve been liberated from my wraps months ago, dummkopf!”
Xander ignored him. “—and put it down with the rest. Once we’re done I can ignore all the questions you wanna ask.”
Skyber wasted yet another half hour dragging box after box up to Ernst’s dormitory, now littered with loose machinery and test tubes where Lucas’s bed should be. Now, Lucas was laying on scrap metal. He didn’t bother to wave, he was already used to Skyber’s antics. Not like he was important to the story or anything.
It was already dark when the two had completed their work with the scientist, and Xander pranced about with 20 extra dollars to his count.
“All that for a Jackson? I feel more swindled than you are,” Skyber mentioned. For a matter of fact, she was. She didn’t get a single penny out of it.
“It’s enough. I need to buy something.”
Making sure the doctor wasn’t in their vicinity anymore, Skyber looked up to him, not getting over how weird that was, and spoke quietly. “Don’t tell me you’re buying drugs, are you? I thought those muscles were natural!”
“They’re not for steroids, you bitch,” Xander said defensively, “and they’re not for any other drugs that you might be on right now. I need the dough for glasses.”
“You don’t wear glasses.” Skyber knew it could probably be for someone else, but being self centered felt right for this voice.
“I don’t, but someone else does. Broke her glasses today at the gym. A new pair would take forever to get here and she’s practically blind without ’em. You would have to travel across the state just to find her prescription. Not to mention delivery times and other bureaucracy crap.” He sighed. “Are you done asking stupid questions you should already know the answer to?”
“I… kinda missed the schedule for the next meet up?” Skyber tried, putting all of her chips on this one question.
“That’s not even a question, and it’s still stupid. Tomorrow at eight, under the cellar. Be there, or… don’t. I don’t care. And next time, save the damn schedule on your phone, scatter-brain.”
“Come on, Splatty!” Nova said. “We won’t set up the prank in time if ya don’t hurry!”
The prankster in crime was holding bags upon bags of supplies, all purchased at Nova’s expense from the shopping district. She couldn’t complain, however, since Nova themself was carrying thrice as much stuff.
“Gimme a break,” Splats complained anyway, “not everyone has infinite storage space in their pockets. Besides, I don’t see how wasting a shitload of money on this has anything to do with pranking.”
“Don’t worry about it! It’s all according to keikaku!” Nova stopped and turned, whispering to Splats. “Keikaku means plan.”
“Why didn’t you just say ‘all according to plan’ then?”
Nova shook their head at the sheer lack of culture and marched on. Just as they were about to go over their keikaku, a sound caught their attention and made their long bunny-like ears twitch. A pair of distinct voices talking in a manner that reminded Nova of buddy-cop movie protagonists.
“Bush!” Nova yelled, causing Splats to almost drop her bags and jump to the nearest conveniently placed shrub, only to find herself completely engulfed in one already.
…
…
“…so just find him and take him for questioning?” A gentle voice spoke closer to their hiding place with a distinct British accent. Nova recognized this as Oliver, which could only mean the second voice would belong to Joan.
“That’s the jist of it.” Joan spoke just as Nova suspected. “It’s a wonder they never brought him in before, do you have any idea how many ‘Xander Pierce’ we got in the search results? Sheesh. You’d think-“ Joan stopped speaking suddenly, just as they stood directly in front of Splats’ hiding spot.
The girl could make out two figures standing directly in front of the bush. Worry began to creep its way into her mind, why in the world did Nova want to hide to begin with? Where even was Nova? Where was she for that matter?
The two officers were completely silent for what felt like an ungodly amount of time. Splats could feel beads of sweat forming on her. She just got out of her dorm arrest, she wasn’t planning on being taken away again. She didn’t even do anything yet!
“That is a weird fucking bush.” Joan finally said, sounding completely flabbergasted.
”..Yeah. I didn’t know they did hedge statues. It looks so real too… like it’s staring at me… can we go now, Joan?” Oliver shuddered, taking a step back from the shrub.
“Don’t gotta tell me twice.” Joan agreed a little too quickly and the two hurriedly left.
After making sure the coast was clear, Splats burst out of her hiding spot and took a deep breath.
“Fuck! What the hell did we hide for?!” Splats yelled at nothing in particular, only to notice the same bush she was hiding in spun in place and turned to her. It looked like a hedge statue of the young woman herself.
“I didn’t want them to see us and get any suspicions!” The bush argued, causing Splats to flinch.
In truth, Nova wanted to eavesdrop on their conversation. They feared the two guards might be heading towards Skyber and Xander. Unfortunately Nova was entirely correct. They had to stop them. Though not with one of their conventional everyday pranks… not yet. They had to be careful about this diversion.
“This does give me an idea though!” Nova chirped, turning back into their fuzzy non-shrub form.
Splats pouted, shoving the idea of being wrapped inside a plant version of her friend aside. “Don’t tell me it involves messing with those stupid cops. I don’t want to get in more trouble!”
The being winked. “Just follow my lead!”
When Nova approached her for the “greatest prank of all time,” she expected something with a little more… anything.
Anything but this.
Here she was, posing with a sign that read “Chocolate, most likely!” by a stand Nova pulled out of thin air, stacked completely with the kind of chocolate only Skyber would eat—fancy and lame. She didn’t dare taste it. What a bore. Hours of shopping and talking and this was the pay off. She hoped Nova knew what they were doing at least.
As for Nova, they were wearing a dress shirt, slacks, a weird hat and a fake long mustache. Which they also pulled from nowhere.
“Come one, come all!” They’d yell once in a while to the crowd of the academy’s brick roads and decorative plants. “Here’s a chance of a lifetime to get your hands on the good stuff! If by stuff you mean non-suspicious chocolate and that’s definitely what we’re selling!”
The scowl on Splats’ face could rival Skyber’s at this point. They were asking- no, begging to be arrested. She’d been caught before, but this is just throwing yourself in a cell and pleading guilty.
Just as she was about to finish contemplating dragging Nova away for something less idiotic, two figures began to approach the stand. She didn’t bother worrying who they might be, she already knew. They were done for.
Nova grinned at the two guards who were now standing in front of the chocolate stand. They eyed the two of them, and they exchanged a look between themselves. Splats was sweating bullets for the second time today.
“Good whatever-time-it-is, can I interest you two gents in entirely vintage top quality chocolate?” They piped, twirling their fake mustache.
The guards seemed entirely stunned for a few seconds, but eventually Joan spoke. “Uh huh… sorry lads, but we’re in a bit of a pickle here. We’re on our way to find some student who looks more like a professional bodybuilder, so— Oliver, what are you doing?”
His partner was caught pulling out a wad of change. “I’m hungry…”
Splats resisted the urge to facepalm. ERA’s finest, ladies and gentlemen.
Joan paused again. He had that face where he was either done with life or done with himself. He spoke again. “…I guess we could use a snack break. Do you have any dark chocolate?”
Nova winked at the girl, who sighed miserably. It was time to do the bit.
“We sold out an hour ago,” Nova replied.
“…Okay then… what about regular milk chocolate?”
“Our shipment is coming in late, we won’t get any until tomorrow noon.”
“But it’s the most popular type of chocolate! Fine then…White chocolate?”
“It all melted.”
“Strawberry.”
“I think you’ve had enough of those sir!”
“Nuts?”
“It’s November.”
Splats groaned. It’s almost April.
“Nut_ella_?”
“We serve chocolate here, sir!”
“Doesn’t seem like you do!” Joan threw his hands in the air with a frustrated scuff. Oliver then pointed at the stacks of chocolate bars on the stand.
“What’s all this, then?”
“Chocolate, sir!”
Oliver cocked his head sideways, a confused gaze in his eyes. “I.. okay, what kind of chocolate?”
Splats couldn’t handle it anymore. She took a bar from the stack, tearing off the wrapper. She showed the bar to the guards.
“Cardboard.”
The four of them stood still and in complete silence. Splats was still holding the wrapped cardboard to their faces. All that was exchanged between them were their blinking gazes.
Joan and Oliver left the stand.
“Nova.” Splats began, her voice irritated.
“Yeaaah?” Nova now rocked on their galaxy peering toe beans. The stand and chocolate were gone.
“What was that?! We did nothing but annoy them and waste their time!” Splats threw her hands, mimicking the lion. “That was the lamest prank I’ve seen in my life!”
Nova chuckled and patted Splats on the shoulder. “Thus it’s the perfect prank, dear Watson.”
She began to walk away. “I’m going to my dorm.”
Nova’s smile dropped. They were too engrossed in their subtle perfection of a sabotage and forgot the mission!
“Hey hey hey come on Splatty, this was just the warm up! The next one is going to be perfect!” They ran up to the girl, who only offered an annoyed look to them once they were in her way.
“Not if it’s anything like whatever this shit was. I didn’t even do anything! I feel like you wasted my time more than you did theirs!”
Their ears drooped. If only she knew how important this was to her and her market. But if they spilled the beans now, she’d mess up their plans. They were this close to failing—but they still had more cards up their sleeve.
“Don’t get the wrong idea, Splatty! Now we have an alibi!”
The girl raised an eyebrow. “An alibi?”
“Sure! If we’re at the chocolate stand all day, who else are they gonna suspect will pull off the biggest prank of the current ERA?”
“God that sucked.” Splats pinched the bridge of her nose. This was smart, but frustrating as hell. “Fine, whatever. But next time, we’re doing it my way!”
“Wouldn’t have it any other way!” Nova beamed, and let go of a breath they didn’t know they were holding. “I went to you for a reason!”
That was close. They could only hope Skyber had it easier.