Once again, waking up to the familiar grey concrete of the holding cells. Splats lifted herself from the agonizing slab of what was considered to be a bed. It was facing the imposing iron door, separating her from the freedom of the outside world. She groaned.
“You have noooothing to wooorry about…” my ass. I should’ve never listened to that lying Furby with wings. Look where that got me. Should’ve just bailed when they brought up the chocolate.
Splats continued moping to herself for a good quarter of an hour, anticipating the moment when one of the guards would open up that door, take her to questioning, and refer her to another school. Or more realistically, back to prison. The worst part about this was, the whole thing wasn’t even her fault. Well, not entirely.
As if things couldn’t get worse, a fly managed to squeeze its ugly head through the crack in the door. If the deafening silence wasn’t damning enough, now the constant buzzing will drill a hole in her brain. If she was lucky, she’ll die before hitting the slammer.
It landed on her slab of a bed, rubbing its two front appendages together. If she could, the girl would have sprayed it with whatever she had in her can to kill it; but alas, they took the can away from her. Must have learned from the first time she was here. She opted to swat it flat instead.
Whack!
“Owie!”
Hey, look. The drilling was already taking effect. The fly was talking to her now. “Great. I’ll go crazy in no time,” she said aloud.
“Splats, don’t be silly! It’s me, Nova!” the fly said back.
Fantastic. It just got worse. “Go away Nova. This isn’t the time for your fun little ‘pranks’ anymore.”
The fly turned green, so the girl could see them better (as to not swat them again), perching on her shoulder. “What are you talking about? We can’t give up now! There’s still so much time left!”
“I’m literally in jail, you idiot. And it’s all because of you!” Splats swatted her companion, despite Nova’s efforts to prevent otherwise. They assumed she must be terrified of flies. They made their form slightly more agreeable, into the shape of a butterfly.
“Oh… well, don’t worry about that now. We can get you out of here in no time. Just trust me!”
“That’s all you’ve been saying to me for the past two days, and look where that got me!” She finally snapped. “I’m tired of you saying not to worry, it makes me worry even more! How can I keep trusting you if all you’ve done this weekend was make things worse for me? In fact, where have you been all night? It’s already morning! They’ll interrogate me for what you started any minute now!”
“I’m.. sorry, Splats, I really am. All this time I was just focused on my grand April Fools Day schemes, and I let you suffer for it!” The wings on the butterfly body slowly faded in color. “I can’t excuse what I put you through, but you have to understand! This is all for your own good!”
Splats stood up shocked. “You planned to jail me this whole time?! What is wrong with you? I thought we were friends!”
“Nonononono, you’ve got it all wrong! This wasn’t my intention, honest!” They flapped their wings frantically. There were visible sweat bullets coming off the antennae. “I thought you were right behind me that night! I just had to keep you away from the market before the guard force could pull off their investigation today!”
The Electi coiled back. “Wait, you know about the market? But how—” Her mind recalled back to the time they and Skyber disguised themselves to throw the fight ring. But they couldn’t have known the full scope of it. She also thought about what Joan had said last night. Something about a gathering? What was going on here? “Skyber did put you up to this! You lied to me!”
“Not entirely!” Nova perked up again. “I do want to be even better friends with you! And I do want to pull off the greatest prank of the current ERA with you! But I won’t get to do that if the school could be potentially shut down in seven hours!”
Splats recoiled again. “W-What! What does that mean?”
The butterfly sighed, deciding now was as good a time as any to spill the beans. “In truth, my biggest goal was keeping you from Skyber. She ran into some guards two nights ago who found a pill they think one of your friends at the market dropped.”
“The LSD?! I told them to get that shit outta here! Fuck, that was the one thing I said we wouldn’t touch!” Splats threw her arms in the air.
Nova nodded. “They planned to raid the entire campus for anything suspicious forty-eight hours from then, and now it’s almost time! Skyber’s been disguising herself as you to get information, and hopefully stop this whole thing!”
“She did WHAT!?” The girl shrieked, patting herself all around just thinking of the implications, then rushing to the door and slamming it profusely. “My likeness, MY reputation, MY SIZE C™ BOOBS in the hands of that BOOMER DRAGON?! I gotta get outta here!”
“Don’t panic, I’m sure she handled your… erm, mannerisms to a T! She used to be an actor in Vegas, y’know?” The butterfly tittered to themself, but then remembered what the topic was.
“Yes, I know! Vegas! She won’t shut up about it! I don’t care! I have to fix this before she ruins my status at the market! Do you know how long I’ve been trying to swindle some of these idiots? If she messes this up, they’ll find her and beat me, er, uh, her up for sure!”
Nova chose to not say anything about the afternoon before.
“Uuuuuuggghhh, this is the worst! What am I gonna do?” Splats slumped with her back facing the door. This was probably the worst day she had had since she got stuck in that bus last Christmas. What a stupid turn of events. She argued this was even stupider. By a very small margin.
“Obviously we’re gonna get you outta here, clear your name, and pull the biggest prank in-”
“This ERA yeah yeah, shuddup! I’ve heard enough of that stupid pun, and your not stupid, but currently very agitating voice! You haven’t had a single cool idea this whole time! What could you possibly have in that void of a brain of yours that even qualifies as a great prank?”
“Well it doesn’t matter now, does it? Not like you have a choice or anything.” Nova beamed at her.
“UGH. Fine. This won’t work anyways, might as well humor you. Lay it on me.”
“Okie dokie! So here’s the game plan…” They flew up to her ear, whispering in their quietest voice a butterfly could muster.
“What? You just said ‘whisper’ five times in a row.”
“Hold on, it gets better!” They continued to whisper, Splats pouting all the while.
But then, she stopped. She raised an eyebrow. And the other. She nodded slowly, losing her frown. In its place, a grin. A nasty grin. Soon, she couldn’t stop herself from giggling like an idiot.
“Nova. You. Are. A… GENIUS!”
It would be a lot harder to destroy an establishment if it kept moving everywhere all the damn time. Especially if you were the most recent cause of it moving someplace else. Skyber huffed, counting down the seconds. She blew her lead, lost her target, and was back to square one. What was she gonna do, ask Xander where the next meetup was again?
Even if she did find it, she could only have time to destroy it. But was that the correct course of action? She spent last afternoon fighting for its survival, for whatever reason. Then, she spent all night contemplating her options. Not that it mattered— if the guards found it before her, it was over nonetheless.
“Hey man. Or, woman. You look like garbage, how long did you sleep last night?” A slender, olive-skinned young man with clout goggles strode up beside Skyber by an unoccupied table, amidst an empty coffee place in the shopping district.
“Not enough, I’ll tell you that much.” Skyber’s Splats voice caught her by surprise again. What was the point of even keeping this guise?
Fraise took a seat across from the woman. “What? No snarky banter? I was kinda looking forward to that, damn. Something’s really wrong. You wanna… Talk about it or…?”
Skyber thought for a minute. “Eh. Why the hell not?” She leaned forward, tapping her non-obsidian-clawed nails on the wooden tabletop, the sensation was oddly refreshing. “How do I say this, have you ever had to make a choice where both options were equally as bad as they were good?
“Usually I just flip a coin,” the man responded. “What’s this all about? Did something bad happen in your market or whatever?”
Skyber stiffened a groan. How many people did Splats involve in this? She started to feel a little left out by now. “Something like that. What are you even in this for?”
Fraise looked confused. “You were the one who invited me. You don’t even remember? Pff, whatever. I just go there for seeds and stuff.”
“Whaddya mean ‘seeds and stuff?’”
“You know those carnivorous plants they never let you grow because it has something to do with ‘breaking school guidelines’ and all that?”
“Do I look like I grow plants like a nerd?”
“Ah, there’s the snarky banter. Anyways, I can always find neat specimens like those in seed packets, or spices for my pantry. One time I got an air fryer for half the wholesale price. Well, I also had to trade a bunch of my seed packets for it too. Still, an actual steal, considering ERA doesn’t allow them here either.”
“Do you really have to stoop down to illegal trade to get these things?”
“Says the de facto ringleader of said illegal trade. Are you sure you got enough sleep? Matter of fact, you sure you didn’t roll out of bed and hit your head on something?”
“Just answer the damn question.” There was a certain familiar ire in the girl’s voice.
“Alright, alright. Take it easy. I mean, you’d know better than anyone else you can’t get anything into ERA. And I’m not talking about drugs or the junkie stuff, more like.. Recreational items. Hell, you get your paint from there all the time. And I wouldn’t have half of my garden if I was following ERA code.”
Skyber tilted her head. That’s the third time she heard about this. Xander, Clyde, and now him. She noticed an ugly pattern. Which only served to make the decision even tougher. “Hey. Weird question. What would you do if someone shut the entire thing down?”
“What? Like Skyber? I donnu, probably cry about it. At least for a good month. It’s the only thing that keeps this place from feeling entirely like Electi prison.”
Skyber felt a kick in her gut.
A small group of students walked into the establishment. One of them rang that bell that nobody knows when to press, waiting for a worker or barista. Fraise immediately quenched his next sentence and looked at Skyber. “Well, you didn’t hear that from me. I’m gonna go use my air fryer. Hugo and Leaf have been asking me to set it up all week. Catch you later, Splats.”
Fraise quickly left the table and the noise level in the coffee place took his place. Skyber figured it was time to find her solace elsewhere. She reached to her chest again, stopped, and searched her sweater pouch. The pocket watch she took out wasn’t reassuring.
One hour.
In truth, she already knew her decision was made. The dragoness couldn’t in good conscience rip the freedom the market offered from the students. She didn’t want to be considered as a bad omen. Not that anyone would know what she did these last few days. But she didn’t have time. What could she possibly do to prevent the raid in less than an hour?
Voices intruded her senses, pulling Skyber out of her running thoughts, much to her annoyance.
“Hey, what the-! I didn’t let you outta that holding cell!” Claude shouted out from afar. He was accompanied by a smaller Anthro rabbit who looked equally as confused.
“Miss Splats… I don’t know how you did it, but please come back with us quietly. We don’t want anymore trouble with you.”
Claude strolled up to the bitter woman, whipping out his cuffs like a cowboy revolver. Spinning it around, and then dropping it. Oliver picked it up, handing it back to him.
“Wheeeeeeeellp, ya know the rules! Now gimme those hands of yours before we put another mark on your rec—”
The girl reached for the cuffs and clenched them in her fist. A sudden crack was heard— Skyber uncurled her fist and bits and pieces of metal fell to the floor.
“I don’t think so.” The fake Splats ceremonially announced in a voice that wasn’t her own. Horns sprung out of her cheeks and the top of her forehead. Her hair burnt off the tangy orange for a dark obsidian violet. Her eyes turned black, and her limbs grew in a flash of flames and scales, a large axe tipped tail snaked on the floor and a pair of wings revealed the form of Skyber towering above the officers.
“Oh… my…” Oliver stepped back. Claude seemed unphased.
“Gee, Splats. Didn’t know you had a secret double life as a big purple MIL—”
“Shut up,” Skyber commanded. “I will be asking the questions now.” Her tail lodged itself into the ground behind Oliver, cutting off his escape. “Why are you two out here?”
Seeing as the rabbit was too frightened to utter another word, the more human of the pair spoke for him. “Weeeell, I don’t know how much I’m at liberty to say…”
“If you like having any resemblance of hair on your scalp you better talk your tongue off before I cut that too.” She sneered.
“Oooh, real scary! I like that! Fine, fine, we were supposed to gather up to pull a raid on ERA—something about underground drug societies or whatever. It was good ol’ Charlie Brown’s idea, not mine!”
“B-but we had to c-cancel it an hour ago…!” Oliver quivered, raising a meek finger.
There was a brief expression of relief on the draconic woman’s face only for her to shut it down with her usual scowl. “Go on then, I don’t have all day.”
“Soooo, we er, uh, had a little situation at the office! It’s quite funny, actually, we have no idea what happened!”
“Th-the entire building was… was…” Oliver’s eyes widened, his mouth laid agape at the horrors beyond the horror.
Before Skyber even turned around, she saw a single rubber duck roll up to her gold-plated dress shoe. She slowly bent down, picked up the duck, and gasped. The realization dawned on her a moment too late.
Her pocket watch tolled. Time was up.
“No.. No, anything but-”
She turned around to a street coated in neon yellow plastic. Every nook, every cranny of the street was overflowing with rubber ducks. Like a tsunami engulfing a coastline city, an endless wave of rubber ducks consumed everything in its path and was coming right at them. No open window was saved from its wrath, tens of hundreds of the quacking apocalypse filled every building in its vicinity.
“NOVA, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?”
She could swear she heard an echo of a pair of gremlins laugh their lungs out the moment her body was swept away in the sea of yellow.
